Liam Gallagher, best guitar riff ever, Pixies, Beatallica, R.E.M., Paul Stanley and Britney Spears...
Intro...
Welcome to today’s slice of stuff. Read on to learn about the best guitar riff ever, a new Pixies book, some bizarre downloadable music from Beatallica, a new album from one of the most influential bands of the 80’s and 90’s, an interview with Rock legend Paul Stanley and Britney Spears fucking up again. But first up it is everyone’s favourite V flicker, Liam Gallagher...
How-ard is Liam?
Remember the reports in 2002 about Liam Gallagher getting into a fight with members of the Italian Mafia in a hotel in Germany and getting his front teeth knocked out? Well prosecutors in the Fatherland have finally got around to investigating the fracas.
It turns out that after doing some tests Gallagher was ‘beaked up’ at the time yet a spokesman for the band reckon the attack was "unprovoked". Yeah right. You only have to read a tabloid paper to see that Liam is a gobby bastard at the best of times but on cocaine he is probably an order of magnitude worse.
Prosecutor Anton Winkler said: "The test revealed substantial quantities of alcohol and drugs. It is possible he used cocaine."
More has also been revealed about these Sicilian hardmen. It is now claimed that the ‘gangsters’ that kicked the shit out of ‘handy’ Liam were infact a group of estate agents and a computer salesman! Heh heh heh...how funny is that? Mouthy Gallagher getting a pasting by two blokes from Abbey National and a technician from PC World!
Unfortunately it looks like the Manc tit will avoid jail and just get a fine for damage to property and resisting arrest.
Despite the success of the Ricky Gervais/Grant Bovey clash Oasis' management company refused to comment on whether Liam will face Howard from the Halifax adds in the next series of BBC2’s ‘The Fight’.
Top 20 Rock Riffs Of All Time...
If you like your Rock music I’m sure you will agree that a good riff is essential to any song. Total Guitar magazine understands this and sought to find the Top 20 Greatest Rock Riffs Ever. The list contains a few surprises but all the expected suspects are present and correct:
20 Rage Against The Machine ‘Killing In The Name’
19 Guns N' Roses ‘Paradise City’
18 Queens Of The Stone Age ‘No One Knows’
17 Cream ‘Sunshine Of Your Love’
16 Aerosmith w Run DMC ‘Walk This Way’
15 Van Halen ‘Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love’
14 Led Zeppelin ‘Black Dog’
13 Muse ‘Plug In Baby’
12 Free ‘All Right Now’
11 Ozzy Osbourne 'Crazy Train'
10 Black Sabbath ‘Paranoid’
09 Jimi Hendrix ‘Voodoo Chile (Slight Return)’
08 AC/DC ‘Back In Black’
07 Metallica ‘Master Of Puppets’
06 Derek & The Dominoes/Eric Clapton ‘Layla’
05 Metallica ‘Enter Sandman’
04 Deep Purple ‘Smoke On The Water’
03 Led Zeppelin ‘Whole Lotta Love’
02 Nirvana ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’
01 Guns N' Roses ‘Sweet Child O' Mine’
Gouge away...
With a new found interest in all things Pixies it was inevitable that someone was going to cash in with a ‘warts and all’ book about the band. Enter ‘Fool The World: An Oral History Of The Pixies’ by Josh Frank and Caryn Ganz.
Fool The World (which translates to Tromp Le Monde in French – all you fans see what they have done there?) is set to chronicle the complete history of the band from origin to the reunion this year and will feature testimonials from Bono, David Bowie, Thom Yorke, PJ Harvey and Dave Grohl.
The authors say the book is "the most definitive and cohesive document of early 1990s rock ever written.”
Yeah well they would say that wouldn’t they? It is unlikely that they will say something like, ooh I dunno, ‘this book is basically just a rip off of the Gouge documentary featured on the Pixies new DVD’. You know the kids will buy it though...
I Want To Choke Your Band...
Ever hear of a band called Beatallica? No? They are a covers band with a twist. They are half Beatles half Metallica and all good.
Ice Magazine describes them as "[a band that] covers Beatles songs in the style of Metallica, infusing the lyrics and arrangements of Fab Four standards with wonderfully unsubtle references to Metallica’s songs and a spot-on imitation of James Hetfield's distinctive vocals".
If you are lucky enough to be in El Paso, Texas at the end of the month you can catch their debut live performance at the dodgily titled BalloonFest on the 31st. Haven’t earned enough Air Miles for a trip to the state that is home to J.R. Ewing but are still interested? Fear not, you can steal, ahem, download their latest EP here .
The self-titled collection contains the following tracks:
01. Blackened the USSR
02. Sandman
03. And I'm Evil
04. Got to Get You Trapped Under Ice
05. Leper Madonna
06. Hey Dude
07. I Want To Choke Your Band
08. We Can Hit The Lightz
Fuxake it has got to be worth downloading just for the titles alone!
From Athens with love...
Good news for all you R.E.M. fans out there, the band have been recording brand new material in the Bahamas and are ready to whip up an album ready to consume later this year. Oh yeah, they are going to promote the new long player with a full tour.
Michael Stipe and the rest of the group are ready to leave the Compass Point studio in Nassau to start mixing the album ready for a release later this year.
A statement from the band reads: “We are about finished with the work here and will be heading across the water to Miami for the final phase of recording and mixing. Compass Point has been a wonderful place to work, and the songs and sounds have really been flowing the past few weeks. I have lost count but suffice it to say there are many, many more songs needed for a CD’s worth.
“We are aiming for a fall release with concert dates to follow soon thereafter. We have been talking about touring plans and will be able to announce something fairly soon. As promised before, some new places and some familiar ones. It will be quite a year from the looks of it, and we can’t wait."
Lets hope they come up with an ‘Automatic For The People’ and not a ‘Monster’ for fuck sake...
The long Kiss goodnight...
Kiss guitarist and singer Paul Stanley (who is staring at me in his Gruntz form right now) recently did an interview with Australian magazine Beat as the Kiss phenomenon rolled into the land down under.
Some quotes from the man himself:
What is his solo album going to be like then? “It'll be me singing great songs and pushing the envelope beyond what I'd do with Kiss. It'd be too easy to do a one-man Kiss album. What's the appeal for me? The idea is to retain the emotion and power I bring to Kiss and make it in a slightly different environment."
Is it true Stanley wears a wig? "No. But it's interesting when I hear things like that. It goes back to a superficial sense of what makes rock credible. That's why the Kurt Cobains and Keith Richards are so appealing to a critic. They think they're the real thing. You lie vicariously through them until they kill themselves. So if someone is bald and wears a wig, they can't be the real thing. Or you can't play great rock if you're rich. These are creeds started by frustrated journalists!"
When asked if he hangs out with rock and roll types away from the band he responded: "I don't know rock and roll types. Most of them have no outside interests, they lead sheltered lives and they're boring or ignorant. They don't take advantage of their fame or success to better themselves beyond having a nice house."
The complete interview can be found here .
Oops she did it again...
Manufactured pop princess Britney Spears has been in the papers today and again it isn’t the most positive of press she is receiving. The fake-titted lovely has taken up Kabbalah, which is a form of Judaism (cue Monty Python gags) and to celebrate she has had some ink done.
The 22-year-old wank fantasy is now decorated with a number of Hebrew symbols that seem to have been done by a dyslexic tattoo artist. When translated the squiggles are actually nothing more than gibberish.
A shadowy source said: "She had hoped it would say New Year or new era. It seems she's got the words the wrong way round.
"It is meaningless which will come as a bit of a blow to Britney. She's taken to Kabbalah pretty seriously and this was a big deal for her. She's going to be gutted when she finds out."
Oh yeah, it turns out that tattoos are forbidden under Jewish law so she is going to burn in Hell too!
This isn’t the first time Britney has had a ‘mare in the tattoo department. Shortly after filming the God-awful ‘Crossroads’ both her and co-star Taryn Manning got a Japanese word put on their hip which was meant to say ‘mysterious’. Unfortunately it actually said ‘strange’ to the horror of the doe-eyed hottie.
Rumours are that he got another tattoo done in ‘a private place’ earlier this year. I’ll bet this on is in English, although it would be fantastic if she has a Chinese symbol on her that translated to ‘liquor at the front, poker at the rear’. We can hope...
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