Rant! A Pilgrim’s Tale by Klifton Heights - This week: crap bands from Liverpool...

Jeeeeeesus...tell you what, I live in a city in the north of England that was the centre of the ‘Merseybeat’ boom in the 60’s then spawned the mighty Eric’s scene in the punk years and now has produced...The Bandits.

Apparently we’ve always been cutting edge here in my Liverpool home. Not since I’ve been a gig going punter we haven’t. The vast majority of greatness to come out of Cilla’s hometown has largely been ignored for easy to market ‘Scouso-Rock-Lite’. Not convinced? Lets have a run down of the last twenty years or so…

Pele (late 80’s early 90’s)
Oops! Bit like Deacon Blue...but not as good.

The Real People (late 80’s – present day)
All the skill but it went a bit wrong. Really good live in the early days but recorded output never captured it. Partially rescued when Cher made them a fortune...still live in Bootle.

Space (early - mid 90’s)
Oooh those lovable Scouse loonies going on about neighbourhoods...NEXT! Well, apart from Female Of The Species...that was boss!

Cast (mid 90’s)
From the ashes of The La’s came a band that was nowhere near as good.

The Tambourines (early – mid 90’s)
Funny little band this...actually they weren’t funny at all, just shit.

Gomez (mid 90’s - present)
Students who played ‘the blues’ or something...

Mansun (mid 90’s)
Yeah yeah...from Chester...whatever...sounded like a crap Tears For Fears tribute band from Liverpool.

The Coral (noughties – present)
Bad haircuts and too many songs about ‘the feelin’ and ‘skeleton keys??’ Totally un-offensive and sooo boring it hurts.

Kings Of Infinite Space (mid 90’s)
So bad it hurt.

Here’s some of the gems that were ignored:

Mr Rays Wig World – highly thought of and dead, dead good...split up.

Gluebound – got signed and everything! Great front man but nothing else.

Pure Morning – smart Velvets style band but happily became Clinic and got somewhere!

The Stairs – how many smiles did this band generate – thousands (but not quids).

DBH - Scousecore from the true Liverpool underground – Ice-T was a big fan! (FACT).

So, what have we learnt today? Yep, most bands from the ‘Pool’ have been shite apart from some that no one cared about anyway. Ah well, I’m off to listen to me signed OMD picture disc...

#‘Because I'm so in awe of you, that I don't know what to do, and I'm sailing on the seven seas so blue...’#

Tune in next week for more RANT!