Tatu, Perry Farrell, Morrissey, Zane Lowe, the most played records of the last 70 years, Pete Doherty and Ryan Adams...
Intro...
Welcome to today’s slice of stuff. Read on to find out what Perry Farrell has planned for the UK, the world according to Morrissey, more air time for Zane Lowe, the most played records of the last 70 years, Pete Doherty’s rehab adventures and Ryan Adams cover version release. But first up are those school uniform clad kipper lickers Tatu.
Not gonna get us...up the duff – oh yes they are!
Wouldn’t you just love to shag the muff off those Tatu bints? Well some lucky sod actually has – well one of them anyway. Julia Volkova ( the dark haired elfin looking one ) has got knocked up despite claiming that she has quit the sausage and become a vaginatarian.
The 19-year-old cock-tease has announced that she is pregnant and that the baby is due sometime at the end of the summer. The father is Volkova’s long-term boyfriend, and martial arts expert, Pasha Sidorov.
The happy couple are no doubt excited about the impending birth of their child and will certainly be looking forward to living together to help bring love and stability into the little comrade’s life. Awww, isn’t that nice?
Well not if you are Sidorov’s the wife it isn’t. Turns out that the beau is already married and has a daughter. Oops.
But at the end of the day he did get the chance to wallop this camel-toed , pseudo-dyke, nympho-ruskie with an even chance that her band-mate, Lena Katina, would join in for a fantasy manage-a-troi so it isn’t all bad news...
Lolla, lolla bollocks...surprise surprise!
According to Jane’s Addiction anorexic looking frontman Perry Farrell the Lollapalooza festival could be making its way across the Atlantic to dear old Blighty. Yeah right, who are you trying to kid Skelator?
There have been rumours for years that the festival will make its debut in the UK but it looks like this time it might actually happen. It seems that Farrell has finally got off his bony arse and has been in contact with some interested parties about getting it into a field near you.
Farrell said: "I’m starting to begin to speak to people in the UK. I’m not going to rush it because I want to [bring it over], I’m going to do it because all of a sudden the universe will open up and say, ‘Go over there now! You should go there.’
"I just have to go slow. You gotta catch a rhythm. With music, it’s funny; people will ask me a lot of questions about putting on festivals. What they don’t realise is you’re out there in the universe and music’s out there in the universe and you have to hope that the music and you cross paths.
"With going over to Europe, I just want to make sure that when we go, I’ve got a wonderful line-up and I have the time to do it."
Appearing at this years festival are: Morrissey, Pixies, Sonic Youth, PJ Harvey, The Flaming Lips, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Modest Mouse, The Von Bondies, Polyphonic Spree, The Thrills, The Datsuns, The Walkmen and Elbow to name but a load.
Farrell reckons that if he ever does land on these shores with his musical zoo he will bring with him an equally good line-up. We’ll see...
World WILL listen…
Sound bite (noun): a very short speech; usually on radio or television. Our old friend Morrissey has been using the sound bite a lot in the last few days as he goes about his merry way promoting his new single and album.
‘Irish Blood, English Heart’ has rocketed up the UK singles chart this week reaching the dizzying heights of number 3, an all time high for the ‘pope of mope’. The song is the first to be taken from his new album ‘You Are The Quarry’ which was released in Britain on Monday.
Moz has been in papers and magazines recently sharing with the world his views on the likes of hip hop music, David Bowie and Britney Spears. Is it a surprise to learn he doesn’t have a good word to say about any of them?
The former Smiths frontman was explaining to French magazine ‘Les Inrockuptibles’ that he doesn’t bother listening to the radio anymore because there is so much crap played, including a load from the biggest selling genre in the world at the moment...
Morrissey said: "I don't want to inflict any pain on myself. For instance, hip-hop remains a great mystery to me. I wish that somebody could explain it to me."
Then there was the interview in ‘GQ’ magazine where he labelled David Bowie ‘showie’ and claimed he was a ‘business’ amongst other things.
"[He is] not the person he was. He is no longer David Bowie at all.
"Now he gives people what he thinks will make them happy, and they're yawning their heads off. And by doing that, he is not relevant. He was only relevant by accident."
Finally in an interview with the ‘New York Post’ the 45-year-old rounded on the dearth of manufactured music doing the rounds and in particular ‘Pop Idol’ and Britney Spears.
"'Idol' is an easy target, as [the contestants] are really just very simple children who are manipulated by truly awful grown-up people
"But I certainly think Britney Spears is the devil. The way she projects herself and the fact that she is so obviously vacuous. I think it's such a shame that she became so influential to very small children."
Nice to see that our favourite middle-aged Mancunian has mellowed with age!
How Lowe can you go?
Radio 1 controller Andy Parfitt could be putting a bit more work the way of Zane Lowe if he gets his way. Parfitt reckons he is going to give the people more of what they want and he reckons they want more alternative music. Whoohoo!
Parfitt said: "All of those shows appeal to particular musical communities, I'm really pleased that they have credibility within these specific communities, but I think the job of Radio 1 - given that we are a national broadcaster - is that we can't just preach to the converted.
"What I'm talking about is trying to arrange the universe of Radio 1 specialists in such a way that it matches people's lifestyles and moods. Frankly, there will always be some compromises because there are a limited number of slots and everyone would like more time."
Erm, yeah...what the man said. Anyway the Kiwi presenter could be on air for 12 hours a week in the near future, you have been warned.
While we are here this is Lowe’s most recent play list for his show on Radio 1:
Kanye West - 'All Fall's Down'
Slipknot - 'Duality'
Mark B - 'Move Now'
The Zutons - 'Remember Me'
Maurice And Noble - 'Hoochi Koochi'
The Streets - 'Dry Your Eyes'
Inme - 'Faster The Chase'
High Contrast - 'Twilight's Last Gleaming'
The Cribs - 'What About Me'
TV On The Radio - 'Staring At The Sun'
Elite Force - 'Driving Me Crazy'
Reuben - 'Freddy Kreuger'
Portishead - 'Glorybox'
The Vines - 'Winning Days'
Methodman - 'Afterparty Feat Ghostface Killah'
The Verra Cruz - 'Soul Collides'
Charlotte Hather'y - 'Kim Wilde'
Fights - 'One For The Night'
Nightbreed - 'Pack Of Wolves'
The Killers - 'Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine'
Avril - 'Be Yourself'
70 years on...and on...and on...
Don’t you just love lists and stats? No? Sod yer then because I do. Anyway Phonographic Performance Ltd has announced the most played record of the last 70 years by collating data from radio, club, shop and jukebox plays from 1957 until 1994 (I don’t know why it only goes up to’94 before you ask).
The top ten looks like this:
10. The Beatles ‘Get Back’
9. The Beatles ‘Hello Goodbye’
8. Rod Stewart ‘Maggie May’
7. Elvis Presley ‘All Shook Up’
6. Abba ‘Dancing Queen’
5. Bryan Adams ‘(Everything I Do) I Do It For You’
4. The Everly Brothers ‘All I Have To Do Is Dream’/’Claudette’
3. Wet Wet Wet ‘Love Is All Around’
2. Queen ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’
1. Procul Harum ‘A Whiter Shade Of Pale’
Christ on a bike there is some shite there...
What a waster...
The Libertines lead singer Pete Doherty has been sent to London’s ‘Priory’ clinic in an attempt to get off drugs before the release of the bands new album. The singer was shipped off last week and has been keeping fans updated on his progress via his website .
Doherty wrote: "I'm fine...they've whacked me on loads of medication. 16 different colours [of] pills like hundreds of thousands or bassets jelly babies.
"Very deranged and murky recollection of the last few days. A gaggle of nurses around my crinkly bed, they all jump as I wake up and yelp something about jelly. Then I notice a needle sticking out of my arm and spots of blood. What the fuck is going on? Vomit and shrieks, some girl warbling down the corridor in a towel. At least my laptop is here still. The only one who ever stood by me."
Recently the former jailbird has claimed that he is on ‘suicide watch’ at the facility because the nurses found some old marks on his body.
"Evidence of self-harm upon my skinny person but nothing could be further from my mind as I awake brighter tailed and bushier eyed than I have done for many a year. Yes children the deliriums and caterwauling’s are giving in to, well, Peter Doherty, whoever the fuck that may be," he added.
"Today I'm definitely steadier on my feet and shall have a little exploration of this clean place which is probably full of celebrities in towelling robes. Enough to make anyone give up crack and smack. Might even try a few press-ups...er, yeah 17 should suffice for now. NURSE! Where’s my apple juice and coffee and biscuit like on the poster?"
The new album should be out later this summer...just like Doherty.
Maybe, you’re gonna be the one to save me...
One of my favourite cover versions ever is going to be released later next month as a stand alone single. Personally I think that the Ryan Adams version of Oasis’ 1995 classic ‘Wonderwall’ is better than the original and I’m not alone, Noel Gallagher agrees with me!
Gallagher said:"I went to see Ryan Adams in Manchester. So he's playing away and he just does 'Wonderwall' right in the middle of the set.
The fucking place went silent. It was so beautiful. I was just like, 'Fucking Jesus Christ what a fucking song!' Afterwards, I told him, 'You can have that song, man, because we could never quite get it right.'"
If you haven’t heard it go out and find it. It was originally released on Adams’ EP ‘Love Is Hell, Pt. 1’ which came out in November 2003 and then featured on the full album of almost the same name which appeared this month.
If you don’t fancy buying either of those two then you have a couple of options. You can wait until 28th June when the song is released through Mercury/Lost Highway Records...or you can fire up your favourite peer-to-peer software and just download it. Nah, buy it – Adams looks like he needs the cash...
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